Thank's Again St. Francis

Well my old friend St. Francis has helped me out again. It was via the Prayer of St. Francis that I started my journey down the Dharma path, see my blog post from July 30Th 2008, it was also published in the April 2009 issue of the Grapevine under the title "Finding My Way".
Tonight I chaired the 7:00pm meeting at the mental health hospital, we were able to finish by 7:45 since there were only a few there, then I headed south to the county jail to co-chair a meeting there. We have a slight shortage of people willing to commit to doing service work at these essential institutions, but we are working on it, had one older member show up again at the hospital to help tonight, God bless her. While I was waiting for my partner to show up I opened the 12 and 12 and read the Prayer of St. Francis to help quiet the committee that is trying to keep me obsessed, they are getting quieter but I am having to do a lot of mediation and focusing on the moment to get them to shut the "F" up, another opportunity to work on me some more. After reading this wonderful prayer I had an epiphany! Below is the prayer

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen.

I read the prayer to work on "me" in dealing with the craving for a compassionate relationship, it has been 13 years since I have been in one so sometimes the loneliness creeps in especially when I meet an attractive woman who seems interested, I ain't dead yet so there is still time, plus it will happen when it is meant to happen, if I force anything I will foul it up big time. The prayer did what it was meant to do, got me out myself but not in the way I planned it because of the epiphany. The Epiphany was how well the prayer goes with service work in places like mental hospitals, jails and treatment centers. I broke each line down, each line relates to an aspect of getting out of "me" and giving to someone who is a bad situation. The words; hatred, wrong, discord and error all relate to the inmates in jail and tell me what I can do for them as a recovering alcoholic who practices the 12 steps and spiritual principles in his life daily and was once in their rubber slip on shoes and orange jump suit. Doubt, despair, shadows and sadness refer to the mental health hospital patients where once again we need to carry the message loving kindness, peace and joy, we need to have our soul light shine on their shadow, I first came through the doors of AA with stitches in my wrist from despair. Above all else we need to give them HOPE, hope that this can be their last visit to these places if they are willing try something different, hope that there is a wonderful life to be lived free from the bondage of active alcoholism and addiction. All the negative words can apply to both inmates and patients plus people going through treatment for alcoholism or addiction. We go in these places to provide what comfort we can, we don't piss and moan about "our day" wanting them to give us comfort while we sit on our pity pot. We open our hearts to empathy, accepting why they are there, yes we share are experience, strength and hope which is a form of trying to be understood but we share from the spiritual language of the heart and don't go all tent revival preacher on them. We give them unconditional love, we love them for who they are and we ask for nothing in return, they don't have to love us back or even like us, we don't care, we are providing a service and love from a power greater than ourselves. We forget about ourselves and our troubles, we forgiven them of their short comings just as we are forgiven of ours, we understand the power of shame, guilt, fear and anger because in active alcoholism and addiction they once ruled us and we share with them a way out from under it even if only for a few minutes. We try and plant a few seeds knowing that some may take years to germinate if they ever do. We who have died metaphorically from being beaten down by active alcoholism and addiction, now have been given the gift of Awakening through our spiritual experiences as a result of the 12 steps and continued practices.
This is what St. Francis and his prayer showed me tonight. I am sure on another night under different conditions and suffering it will reveal something else.

Peace Love and Light
Scott