So I missed a call from Mich early on at work Tuesday night, so called her back on my break, she informed me she was evicted from her apartment and was moving in with me. Serious oh fuck and what the fuck combined in one. I didn't get aggresively angry at her or yell, I have had similar experiences in the past with her, yelling is fruitless. My dad was a yeller and it never solved anything with me, so with recovery I understand it doesn't do any good with her.
First thing I asked her is why she didn't use her tax refund to pay up her past due rent, she said they were looking for a new place to live and hoped to be out before they would be kicked out. She also told me they didn't go to the court appointment on the eviction notice, this screwed them out of having 30 days to move their stuff. Oh yeah the "they" is her on again off again bf and Carter's father, seems once again she thinks he will change and they can play happy family, sorry I don't have any faith in the kid changing. Tuesday night they were moving all their stuff to either my house or bf's parents basement. Bf is living with his parents, we have mutual minor dislike for each other, we are civil and respectful to each other but there is no way he could stay here with out major fireworks happening down the road, fireworks which would be light by both of us.
I understand how she let this happen, I have never been evicted but do understand thinking things won't come to the worst, the feeling of being invincible. My drinking career was checked with pushing the limits, I pushed the limits on paying bills, had my power shut off more than once, I rarely had car insurance and I finally got busted for drunk driving not once but twice within a years time frame. She doesn't drink anything like I used but doesn't know how to manager her money, can't decifer needs from want's, something which took me being sober to really put into place and still have to be mindful of.
I get upset with both Mich and bf for not holding down jobs. She blames not being able to find daycare, don't understand this because I think HHS would help but then again maybe she has burned some bridges with them and can't get the help she needs. Bf has a bad history of job jumping, quiting jobs because they are too hard or whatever, from the 3 years I have known him I get the feeling he is flat out lazy. I have had to and continue to admit I am powerless over Mich and bf when it comes to work ethics and finances.
I did some personal reflection on her situation and previous troubles, trying to see if I contributed to then in some large way. She was 15 when I got sober, up until that point I had held down a full time job and a couple of part time jobs on the side at different times, granted the part time jobs gave me extra money to support my habits. You can say she was raised relatively poor but always had a home, food in the frig, money for school events and was treated well on holidays and her birthday. What she didn't have until I got sober were a lot of new clothes and other nicer things. When I got sober I change my spending habits over time and tried to be a good example to her. I have been honest with her about how I have survived when things got tough, talked to her about how she could make her food stamps go further, how to limit how much driving she does, about calling companies when she can't make full payments on bills. I also live a simple and comfortable life and spend within my means with a bit extra now and then from saving. So I think I have done a halfway decent job of showing and talking to her about financial responsibility. I have helped her out along the way too mainly because she has kids and I want to make sure their needs are met, my parents have help my siblings and me out off and on too so this is kind of a family thing.
I don't know how long they will be staying here. It is a big adjustment for me, I am very much a loner bachelor and use to my privacy and routines and my little dog is use it being just the 2 of us as well. Angel and Carter and such little papa's buddies, they both gavitate toward me when they are awake, thus the reason I am typing this at 4:00am. Angel bless her little heart has been coming into my room early in the morning and climbing in bed with me, kind of messes up my sleep but hopefully she will not do it so often as time wears on. Like I said adjustments are having to be made, also boundaries are being set too.
Well I am physically and mentally fried but wanted share with you this bit of information.
Peace Love and Light
Life's a rollercoaster
2 weeks ago