Last few Days

I want to and need to make this short, any bets on whether that will happen or not :-)

I never made it out of Lincoln on Christmas day. We had a blizzard come through, the same one that covered most of the Midwest. We didn't get as much snow as the states north of here or even Oklahoma, poor Okies aren't use to snow like this so it really caused problems, same for Texans. The interstate and highways where shut down across the state.

The woman who was suppose to come in at 3pm was stuck in western Nebraska, so I ended up working her shift, total of 16 hour day for me. I didn't mind though. There was no real thought process involved, I was already at work, had no reason to go home, so when I was asked to say I didn't hesitate to say yes.

Spending Christmas with the clients was another no thought process. I didn't think about myself and what I was missing, I honestly didn't think at all, I just knew this is where I was needed and went with the flow. The clients all had a good day for the most part. I brought in cupcakes and candy canes for them, the center had small presents for each client which brought a smile to most faces. We had a couple of different group sessions to talk about things, resentments and how they would like to see their lives changed by next Christmas via staying sober and clean. We watched My Name is Bill W, most clients hadn't seen this before and I talked about the history of AA, about Bill, Dr. Bob and Ebby. The evening was free time, they watched movies and played cards. For my part I just stayed available, walked around talking to different clients at different times, played cards with them, shared my experience, strength and hope. God allow me to carry the message of love to them by not complaining that I was with them and not my family, it was a 12 step day without intent. I just did the next right thing and that thing was to be with them. This wasn't just me all the staff that worked that day where cheery and helpful, some more than others but that is how it goes, some just have a job at the center others want to be there and serve their God.

We had one woman who did have a minor breakdown after a phone call with her kids. They had never expressed their anger at her before, she thought everything was going well because she gave them everything they needed materially, she was a drug dealer. In the phone call they expressed their anger about the stuff they had lost when she was arrested. We told her that she would probably have more conversations like this one because the one thing she never gave her kids was "herself" she was so busy providing for their material wants she neglected their emotional needs, her kids range from 9-15. The client is new and hasn't started working on look at how her addiction has effected her and her family, the phone call gave her a taste of that and we helped her walk though the event. She was shaken up for a while but eventually the tears stopped and she got involved in other activities to keep her mind off her troubles.

When I came home I couldn't judge how deep the snow drift in front of my drive was, so I hit the gas and plowed into a 3 foot snow drift that I thought was only a foot or 2 deep, stopped me dead in my tracks. God had my neighbors see this and after 20 minutes of digging we got my car unstuck and in the drive. Yesterday it took me 20 minutes to go 100 yards because of the snow on my street, I had to dig and use pieces of plywood under the tires to get me to the street that didn't have deep snow on it. I had planned on this problems so I wasn't late for work. I will shovel some more before I go to work today, mainly the street in front of my house.

As for me having Christmas with my family it is going to wait until Wednesday. I talked to my mom early Christmas morning just to wish her a Merry Christmas, later I talked to my daughter, Angel is still to small to care about talking to grandpa on the phone if she is doing something more fun. In reality going down Wednesday will be better because I will have more time to spend with all, it isn't about being with them on the actual day so much as just getting a chance to see them and spend some time together. I am sure my daughter missed me but she spent time with my family, her cousin's, grandma and great aunt so she was with family plus she also was with her boyfriends family. This is the first year we have not been together on Christmas but it won't be the last as she gets older and has a family of her own. For me I have other obligations with my new career and missing holidays is part of the gig. What counts is spending quality time together when we can and phone calls to say I Love You and am thinking about you.

When my grandson is born I am going to go and stay with Angel while my daughter is in the hospital. I plan on bring Angel back to Lincoln with me for a week afterwards also, this will give my daughter a chance to recuperate and get use to having an infant again without having to take care of a toddler as well. A couple of the people I work with have little kids so I should be able to find a daycare for Angel while I am working plus I have recovery people to help out. I am actually looking forward to having her down here for a week, this might change after a couple of days into it, grandpa is rather use to doing his own thing around his house.

Well I hope all had a great Christmas. My prayers have been daily for those who have been going through some tough times in their lives.

Love you all! Peace Love and Light
Scott