Gifts

I have bits and pieces of this post running around in my head for a couple of days now, so it is time to set the words free, lucky you ;-)

That is my little dog and companion Sweetheart, as most of you know I got her a couple of months prior to getting sober and she has played a major role my sobriety, she was a gift from God when I really needed one but didn't know it at the time. She is lying on her pillow under my desk which is where she goes when I am on the computer.

The other picture is of Angels gifts with the exception of the toddler lego's I bought her and left at my mom's house so Angel can play with them while waiting for grandpa to show up on Christmas day. The big box contains, "My Very Own Kitchen" really cool little kitchen with pans and utensils I picked up for $20 at a family dollar store. I bought the little dog in the purse because it looks a lot like Sweetheart and Angel loves Sweetheart even though Sweetheart has mixed feelings about her, part jealousy and part having a toddler chasing her around and wanting to play gets old quick. I also bought Angel her own folding chair, you can't see it but the chair has Tinkerbell on the back rest, another bargain from a dollar store, my mom has a small stool that Angel loves to move around and sit on so I thought I would get her a chair of her own. I will put the kitchen together in the next day or so and with the exception of the chair wrap the rest of the gifts, since even for a toddler part of the trill of gifts is tearing the paper off. I also have some baking to finish doing, baking treats for daughter, her boyfriend and Angel, plus making a cake for N and her kids, just a little something to say I care.

I am working Christmas Eve 2pm-10pm, we are taking the clients to some type of recovery Christmas program at another treatment center, not sure what it is all about though. Christmas day I am working 7am to 3pm, then I will leave directly from work to head west so I can spend a few hours with Angel, my daughter, my mom and whatever family is still around, maybe see N if she is home. I can't spend the night because I have to work the 7am-3pm shift on the 26th as well. I am grateful that my boss scheduled me to work the first shift so I could spend some time with my family.

So here is what has been on my mind. I am chairing my home group meeting tomorrow night and the topic that came to me was the Promises. Part of Christmas is about gifts. If one is a Christian it is their God's gift of Jesus. For others it is giving a little special something to those we love, whether they be bought or homemade, a traditional way of saying you are special to me, even though I feel we need to do this throughout the year and not reserves this for Christmas and ones birthday only.

The Promises our a gift from the God of our understanding to us for being diligent about changing our lives via the 12 steps. As we learn to get out of self and trust our God these gifts start to materialize in our lives. The new freedom and happiness comes because we are no longer slaves to King Alcohol or Dictator Dope. By learning to accept our past as a learning tool we no longer regret it, yet we still have to remember where our actions under the influence of alcohol and drugs can lead us. Comprehending serenity and knowing peace come from accepting life on life's terms and accepting God's will instead of forcing our will into our life and the life of others. We understand that our past can be our greatest asset in helping others because we all have the same dung on our moccasins. When we begin to accept the love of our God and the love of others, we begin to believe we are worthy of being loved and so that old low/no self esteem and pity pot starts to leave us. As we comprehend and apply the paradox of "giving it away to keep it" and as we learn to humble ourselves towards being a servant of our God, we stop being servants of self, thus our self seeking motives start to slip away. When we start to feel better emotionally, spiritually and physically it can't help but change our whole outlook and attitude towards life. As we learn to become comfortable in our own skin, as we make wrong the errors of the past (make amends), we gradually lose fear of people, not every one is out to get us or thinks we are piece's of shit. A tough one for a lot of us, me include, is being comfortable with the income I have, understanding that more money won't bring happiness, that even if I am poor for the rest of my life I can be happy and as long as I do the footwork God will take care of my needs, my wants are not important in the Big Picture of life . Through prayer and mediation, through the process of learning to trust our God, we start to develop a God conscience that helps us deal with the situations that life throws our way, we do the footwork and once again accept our God's will in the outcome.

The Promise aren't just for alcoholics and addicts,(note for Paula). I feel they are what happens for anyone who tries to live a life based on spiritual principles. If we work towards treating others as we wish to be treated then life rewards us for our efforts. When we learned to love ourselves as the Divine loves us then we gain a feeling of inter peace and serenity which also comes from learning to live in the moment at hand and not worry about the future nor dwell on the past. The Promises are about Karma, about reaping what we sow, about serving our God to the best of our ability on a daily bases. The Promises are a daily gift from our God as long as we continue to do the footwork. They are also a gift to ourselves because we have free choice. We can either choose to live in serenity and peace or choose to be miserable, grumpy and Ebenezer Scrooge year round. I know I don't reap the promises every day because some days I am so full of self I shut out the sunlight of the Spirit but if I work on seeing and touching the light I can fill my life with that light the majority of my days. The promises are this little agreement between my God and myself, my God says "boy if you want to live a serene and peaceful life here is what you need to do, take it of leave it the choice is yours", gratefully on most days I take it. As an ex-drunk I know that if I take one drink all these promises disappear, they have in the past and will again.

So if you feel you didn't receive any gifts of value this Christmas think again. If you are receiving these Promises from your God then you have received the greatest gift of all, a life beyond your wildest dreams, life filled with happiness, joy and LOVE, a life where even when we are given a shit sandwich to eat we can accept it and say pass the salt and hot sauce because even shit sandwiches don't last forever.

In case you don't get a chance to read me until after Christmas, let me say this to all of you now. Merry Christmas my friends, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved!!! May your new year be filled with the blessing, some may be in disguise, I know mine will be.

Love you all and let's all do our best to carry the message of peace on earth, goodwill towards all living things throughout the year, please!!

Peace Love and Light
Scott