Scatterings

Well God via my phone decided I didn't need 8 hours sleep on my last non working day, so I have a full pot of coffee and a relatively clear head so here is an update on what has been happening in my corner of bloggersville.

For the most part I have just been messing around during the days, bought some odds and ends for the house, including a home theater system, oh yeah a little Neil Young cranked up sounds so much better than the baby boom box I have been using for years. I use to be really big into sound systems but with age and debt I have adapted to boom boxes, the sytem wasn't expensive and sounds really nice with cd's and dvd's, N's kids will love it. My surplus of money is pretty much gone but that's alright, it was fun while it lasted and I was able to treat myself, N, her kids and some others plus expense where covered comfortably. Now it is back to being frugal and saving as I go, I have to figure trips to Kearney in my budget or money for N to come this way, plus my expenses are a bit higher here and my pay is less, but the dog and I don't need much to live on, need to stop the damn smoking, that would save a lot.

I got a nice card from my Kearney home group Wednesday night, some of the comments really touched me. You know there are those certain people whose live you touch but you never know how many until you receive a "miss you" card, I received some nice comments from some unexpected people, and a couple of comments about touching people I didn't realize I had. This goes to show that when we carry the message and the solution it has far reaching arms and we need to make sure how we carry it so that we serve AA and our God to the best of our ability. I have gone to a meeting every day, getting to know AA people in Lincoln, checking out the meetings, then going to the coffee shop after the meetings to get to know people better. Along with the men's stag meeting on Monday night's, I have found a 10:00am Saturday morning meeting that I like, going to try a differant Tuesday night meeting and probably a differant Wednesday night meeting, Friday night is the group I first got introduced to a year ago and will stick with it, I have a couple of special friends that from out of town who go to it, so it is a chance to visit with them and have coffee afterwards. I will give Lincoln AA credit, someone has always walked up to me, introduced themselves, shook my hand and gave me a welcome. Fellow travelers this is so important, 13 years ago I moved to a new town, I had 9 years in recovery, I went to a few meetings and no one took the time to introduce themselves to me or shake my hand, nor was there a welcome and please introduce yourself for newcomers or visitors read at the opening of the meeting, I felt unwelcome and eventually stopped going to meetings, grant it I should have sought out other meetings and tried to be more friendly with those outside smoking but I was emotionally sick, the relapse that followed was my own fault but I know first hand how important that friendly hand shake and welcome can be. I have met a couple of guys who are patients at the treatment center I will be working at, my first thought was not to introduce myself but figured they would see me soon enough so might as well say hi and chat for a bit. Recovery has become such a part of my life that I really don't have to think about going to meetings, fumbling with idle chit chat, without recovery I have nothing, I will loss everything and right now that everything is huge. Having said that I still stay sober because I am a better person sober, I am able to give unselfishly for the most part, I am a good dad, grandpa, son, boyfriend, friend, employee and productive member of society when I am sober, I am happy, joyous and free and that reflects outwardly. I know that if the job falls through, the relationship goes down like the Titanic, I still need to carry on with my recovery, by going to meetings, having a network of recovery friends, prayer and mediation I can handle anything with out picking up that first 6 pack, there ain't no first drink for this ole drunk, one is a waste.

Mich is staying at N's house until she can get a place via special services, hopefully by next week, she also may have a job. N has been great support for her since she has been down Mich's path, just like I am able to do things with N's kid that she can't, N is able to work with Mich where I can't, full circle really. The relationship with N continues to grow stronger, I was in Kearney yesterday for the last bit of stuff and to store some of Mich's stuff, spent the evening with N and her kids, Mich was off doing something with her friends, N thanked me for coming down, so my fear of one sided relationship is fading, N and the kids will be here all weekend, we are going to go shopping for school clothes. One of my friends here who has got to know N told her about her church, from what I gather it is a very open church, well the friend is going to be gone this weekend but I told N if she wants to go to that church on Sunday I would to with her. As Gandhi said, " I love your Jesus, it is just some of his followers I don't like" so I will go to church with N and tap into the message of Jesus and try and keep the human stuff out, who knows I may end up liking this church and go with her when she is in town.

Well I need to get myself in the shower and start the day. I need to run a couple of errands, then back to finish the shed, the doors and flooring are all that is left, my out of work neighbor helped Saturday and I gave him some money because it was really worth it, no way in hell I could have done it alone. I also have those last yucky boxes of odds and ends to put away, I start work tomorrow, hopefully I will be able to write a post but no gurantees since I will have a bunch of phone calls to make also. So until next time.

Peace Love and Light
Scott