Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Butterflies

Man the anxiety is really starting to set in and from all differant directions. My daugher and her boyfriend have yet to find a place to live and they need to be out of the house by Friday, big problem is he doesn't have a solid job so no one will rent to them, he also procrastinated on applying for government assistances and they are on the waiting list which could take a while. I talked to Mich last night and she said Angel and her can live with a friend for a while, it does suck that no one will rent to an 18 year old, she does have the phone number to an agency that assist single mothers with housing, the main thing is boyfriend can't live there, so maybe today she will hear something from them. I have offered as much help as I can, so once again it is trust God time. I will buy her a $50.00 gas card which is good for gas only plus 4 big boxes of diapers, she needs to contact DHHS as soon as she gets an address so she can start getting food assistance. Part of me feels like I am being shitty but I have given her and her boyfriend 6 weeks notice so I am not kicking her to the curb.
The stuff I need to get done seems overwhelming, but really it isn't that much just time consuming, like loading things up taking them to Lincoln, unloading and back again. The woman who bought my house said I don't need to clean the shed out right now so that can wait until next Wednesday. Next week I need to buy and put together a metal shed for my tools, mower and such, so that helps out. My psycho head wants everything done NOW, but it all takes time. This is true too when it comes to the few items I need to buy, couch, tv and tv stand, ( I am leaving this stuff for Mich) I can survive without these things for a while and so can anyone who comes to visit me, which includes N and the kids, I need to watch my spending.

N and I are growing stronger and closer. It is still just hugging but we are a couple. She tells me thanks for the hugs and there is an underlying thanks for being gentle and patient. We haven't talked about our feelings yet but there is plenty of time for that. I am helping her garden tonight so maybe while we are working I will bring up the topic. She is coming to Lincoln Friday night, she is bring my car down for me. N and the kids are then going to spend the night and Saturday we will mess around Lincoln, go to a couple of cool shops, the natural history museum, maybe a botanical garden, N lived in Lincoln as a teenager so she wants to re-visit some old haunts. Sunday N, her daughter and I went to a really good NA in Lincoln that a couple of my friends go to, N had a chance to meet my friends plus met a couple of other woman she liked, this helps for when she comes to Lincoln to visit. I was glad I went to the NA meeting as well, for the most part I am not one for going to NA, part of it is my drug of choice is alcohol and part I have been to some really bad NA meetings so have a prejudice towards them, but this one was differant and I will make it a regular, plus I met a couple of really good people there and I will be in contact with them. Bless N's heart she told me after the meeting, "Make Sure you Get some phone numbers of the guys you like!!!" I told her not to worry, that I wouldn't make the same mistake I made the last time I move in recovery, which was stop going to meetings and drink again.
Well thats a take for now.

3 comments:

peet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Again a great post from the heart, it's always hard to know if we do the right thing for those we love but that's what our higher power is for, to help us and guide us...stick with it all you sound well...G

steveroni said...

GREAT post! (Hi, Pete. Hi Gabi.) things will work out when I let God be in charge--which He is whether I let Him or not.

If you get a helper when you install that metal shed it will go twice as fast, and it will be twice easy! -GRIN Been there several times!