A little sadness

While Lady B lays sleeping, catching up on some much needed rest I will peck out a quick post and free my head a bit. I talk things out but writing seems to help a lot too. The more I let things out the less power they have over me, the more I see the emotions for what they are and the easier it is to find the middle path with them.

We are in Lincoln, we came down yesterday afternoon. We have packed up about 3/4 of the house. Lady B took on the kitchen while I worked on the shed. All the books are packed, all the nick knacks and keep sake, now just the music and odds and ends. I am going to load up the car with something to take back to Kearney, then on to North Platte Thursday when we move mom there, she has a nice big shed I can store stuff in. Lady B talked me into dumpster diving for boxes, I bought some from U Haul and she freaked out, told me to go to the recycle bins and get them, which I did. Some reason I really hate asking for boxes at stores, just feel ashamed to ask for them, there is a sickness with my pride and low self esteem in there somewhere.

Yesterday between 5-6pm we got a call from Mich. The cops where called on her for alleged child abuse. Angel had a couple of unusual bruises and a bit mark that Mich couldn't explain, so the police and child protective services where called. One of the bruises was over a week old from when she took a tumble on the concrete, the other one was from her having a temper tantrum and banging her head on the floor. Mich thinks the bit mark comes from one of the kids she was playing with. When Mich called she was upset and they where taking Angel to the ER to check her out. At around 10pm Mich called again and said they were going to take Angel into protective custody. Lady B and I throw on out clothes and hauled ass to Omaha. When we got to Omaha the x-ray's and cat scan had all been done and didn't show anything. One would think that this would be enough to allow Angel to go back with Mich but it wasn't. CPS had an emergency foster care lady there and would not allow Angel to come with Lady B and me or return to Mich's care. They said they need to do a background check on us first and also since I was in between house that I didn't have a stable home right now. Also that they wanted Angel and Mich to see each other every day, which isn't easy with what I have going on this week. Lady B and I asked and suggested everything question possible to try and find a way for Angel to go with us. We told them Angel was going through some hard times right now and she was just showing her confusion and anger the only way a 20 month knows how. None of this worked and Angel was taken, it broke my heart big time. Monday Angel will be examined by a doctor who specializes in child abuse to determine if Mich was telling the truth which I believe she is because Mich isn't violent and also she is very protective of Angel. If the doctor says the bruise our just normal toddler bruises then Mich gets Angel back but still has to be monitored until a judge makes his final ruling, which could take a couple of weeks. Because of this Mich is also limited on seeing Carter and has to be monitored when she is with them.

I can't worry too much about all of this. I can do the footwork needed though. Lady B and I both gave the CPS worker all our information, so that they can run a background checks on us and Lady B's house can be checked out as a place for Angel to live if need be until I have my apartment in North Platte. We just have to trust that this is a mistake and CPS will see this. Mich is livid with the over zealous nurse who turned this in, the nurse was just going her job. Mich has to keep her mouth shut during all of this, she was F-bombing all over the place last night, which probably looked bad. I am sure that when Mich dumped Carter's father and then started hanging out with another guy this gave a bad impression on the nursing staff. Mich also has an attitude about the assistance they are trying to give her, she says she knows how to take care of an infant and doesn't need their advice.

Even though it doesn't sound like it, we where there for Mich also. She needed our presents and support. We gave her all the love and strength we could.

I am grateful that Lady B and I where in Lincoln yesterday when all this went down, so that we where able to make it to Omaha in 45 minutes instead of 3 hours. Like Lady B said we need to be there as adult voices for Angel's best interest even if we didn't get our way, at least we tried and made a presents, one the young CPS worker note and wasn't able to bully like she was going with Mich. We where calm but assertive. Lady B and I both know people in CPS in other counties and will be in touch with them Monday as well as pressing to get the report from the doctor ASAP so we know what is going on. The lady I am going to start working for can help me also.

So even if I am a bit said to see my baby Angel under more confusion and stress, I am somewhat at peace. I know she is safe, that this shouldn't last very long. Mich only has a couple more weeks in Omaha, so even if for some reason Angel can't return to her, Angel can come live with me. I will bust my butt to make sure of this.

Still waiting for the official job hiring, plus there was a hiccup with the apartment, I had to have my mom co-sign, my old landlord was pissed because I broke the lease and said some negative and untrue things about me being late on rent, I was never over 6 days late but he said I was 10 days late a few times. Pissed me off but nothing I could do about it. If all goes well I will be in North Platte in 2 weeks. I have mom's move Wednesday and Thursday. I just keep pulling myself back to living in the moment whether it is the mess with Mich and Angel, the delay with the job or hiccups with an apartment.

Well Lady B is up and she has started cleaning, so I need to get my butt in gear.

Peace Love and Light to ALL
Scott