Thursday, November 19, 2009

Frothy Emotional Appeal

"Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, it they are to re-create their lives. " The Doctor's Opinion

A friend of mine just started an in depth Big Book study on Wednesday night that I have made a regular on my list of meetings. We read 1 paragraph at a time and discuss the paragraph then go to to the next, it took 8 people 45 minutes on 3 paragraphs from the Doctor's Opinion and I am loving it!! My experience in the past with book studies has been to read a few page's then discussion. A couple of the people attending have over 20 years and are very knowledgeable so their insight is excellent.

The quote above is one of the three we read this Wednesday. I have read the Doctor's Opinion a few times but I tend to read fast and my mind only catches certain things, so reading at a slower pace is shining light on things I have read but never stopped to think about and the above paragraph is one of those. Plus I have my favorite passages that I read over and over and tend to not read whole chapters very often, I am sure I am alone in this;-)

I love the word "frothy" having a bit of redneck in my attitude, frothy brings up images of silly coffee concoctions people order at coffee houses, drinks made for people who really don't enjoy the rich flavor of coffee on it's own but like a hint of it mixed in with their sugar and whipped cream. No one ever approached me about my drinking problems with sweet appeals, well maybe my mom once or twice, most of the time it was with despair or anger. For the most part people didn't approach me at all because I was deep in denial and would argue the issue with them and they just gave up. What I do know is that "frothy emotional appeal" has little effect on me no what the subject is, if someone has an issue with me sugar coating it doesn't work, it plays on my selfishness and baby side. I prefer straight shooting, up front and honest. It doesn't mean I want people to be drill sergeant assholes but just calm and straight to the point, I am big boy and can take it even if my pride and ego get bruised they will heal. So the good doctor is right about this one.

"Must have weight and depth" no therapist, clergy, family member or non-alcoholic has ever had the strong effect on me that a recovering alcoholic and addict has. Another alkie or junkie can connect with me and I with them because we share a heavy common bond. You all talk my language, you understand the shame, fear and anger, you have suffered like I have suffered, so what you are sharing with me has weigh and depth because I know you know what you are talking about. I think this may also be a trust issue with us, I am going to trust you because your moccasin's have the same smelly dung on them that mine do.

"Their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, it they are to re-create their lives." I have to trust my God if I am going to re-create my life. Some say they didn't have a life prior to recovery but I did although it was a sick life. It has been with the Grace of my God, that I have strong and healthy relationships with my family members, well for the most part, so may family life has been re-created. This also applies to my work life, my interactions with others, being a law abiding citizen and a decent human being. I really on my spiritual condition to keep me grounded, sometimes my selfishness gets out of hand and starts flying upward but thankfully when I get too hot I return to the ground.

So those are my thoughts on that little passage. Feel free to had your own thoughts about it in the comments.

Life is good over all. I was called in to work a couple of times this week to fill in, so there will be a couple of extra dollars in the paycheck which will go for Angel's Christmas. Since I only have one paycheck prior to Christmas, I get paid the 30th of November, for once in my life I will actually buy my presents ahead of time and then budget out the rest of the money for my living expenses, also known as, gas, food and smokes, bills come off the top right away.

One of the full time tech's was either fired or quit today, what happened is privileged information. Her leaving might open some doors for me. I was asked to teach a class today on Meth, one she would usually teach. I was never a speed freak, so I have very little practical experience with any type of speed let alone Meth. My boss gave me the hand out to read over and thanks to God I was able to find enough key phrase in it to use for a good class and discussion, I also relied on the clients who have been addicted to Meth to help me out, so yeah God, yeah clients, you both made me look good in a humble way. There is also an opening for someone to teach Relapse group which is right up my alley, so I told my boss I was interested. I am honestly sad for this tech, she has been having some personal problems which have effected her job performance, late for work, using her cell phone at work, plus having a cynical attitude towards certain clients. I pray she gets the help she needs.

This weekend my schedule is insane but it is self imposed insanity. I work 7am to 3pm tomorrow/Friday, 3pm to 11pm Saturday, 7am to 3pm Sunday and 11pm Sunday night until 7am Monday morning. The shift tomorrow and the early shift on Sunday I volunteered for, I was already scheduled for Saturday and Sunday/Monday grave. Saturday I get to do the Big Book reading group, this week we are going to read There is a Solution, love the part about us being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Saturday evening it Stress Management which I have to work out a lesson plan for and then Sunday is my baby, Spirituality group. For spirituality group I am going to find something to read concerning love, compassion and friendship, I think I will have them write out what their definitions of these 3 words are, one to have them think about them and what they mean to them and also to see how as individuals our definitions may differ, anyway those are my thought as of right now this may change come Sunday morning.

Well campers I have clothes to put away and a shower to take, so I better get at it. Thanks for tagging along.

The Divine in me Honors the Divine in you!!!
Peace Love and Light


Prayer Girl said...

Good post. I went to a Big Book study for a short while where we read and discussed one word or phrase at a time. THAT...was too much for me. I like the one paragraph at a time idea.

You wrote, "I prefer straight shooting, up front and honest." Reminds me of something from Al-Anon that I dearly love. "Mean what you say, say what you mean, don't say it mean."


Shadow said...

'sweet appeals'? no, sweet appeals and the request to cease drinking didn't happen to me. nor would it have worked. nor did the unseet appeals. that was something that had to come from inside of me, and until i didn't want to admit and acknowledge it, it didn't happen...

Tall Kay said...

Great post Scott! Until I could see the damage and hurt my drinking was causing others, I thought the frothy appeals were just another attempt to control my drinking. It sounds like an amazing Big Book study...a textbook should be studied!

I hope you find some time for rest in your busy schedule. Was the employee who left, the same one you were struggling with a few weeks ago? God seems to open doors we never expected to open! :o)

Sarah said...

What a wonderful way to study the big book! Maybe its time I started doing something like that. I haven't committed myself to anything like that in a couple of years.

Pete Hoge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gabriella Moonlight said...

My home group is a BB study just like this, one paragraph at a time and the sobriety in the group can vary from one day, one week to 15 years, to 25 years. It's great to share and listen.

Frothy emotions...LOL mkaesme laugh...seriously it would have never worked for me; I needed honesty!

This is a great post; I got you FB message and in my newest post I thank you for the dance dance dance comment that is what I did today! Thank you!

Namaste and peace

Paula said...

Scott, being so tired after therapy I often read, re-read and need some time to make sense in my mind. You are right I have no expereince with AA literature, however I do on Al Anon and Prayer girl summarized it for me already: Mean what you say, say what you mean and dont say it mean. Thanks for your loyality. I love your loving words, you ongoing support and the knowledge you will be here( yeah there in Nebraska too - LOL ) Hugs from Munich