Literature a prospective

Alright the coffee has kicked in so I can think enough to write, I hope. Sunday night I worked the over night shift, 11:00pm to 7:15am, so I got to bed a bit after 8:00am, then I was up at 1:45pm so I could be back to work at 3:00pm and work until 11:15pm, needless to say I slept until 2:00pm today, I don't have to work, so there was no rush to get up. I don't mind working an overnight and then coming back at 3 every once in a while it is part of the career I have chosen, I doubt if I can do this very often though since I don't function very well on 5 hours of sleep the way I could in my 20's, a few times a month is enough for me. Right now I will take all the hours I can get since I am still not working a complete 40 hours a week, this week and next I am only working 3 days and that hurts. Thankfully I don't need a lot of money to survive on and this is also teaching me to watch my spending, curtail my wants and just buy my needs. I wanted to go back to my old town on my days off and see my daughter, granddaughter, N and her kids but I am going to stay put and find things to do around here, oh I have 3 days off in a row, work one then 2 more off. I can't afford to do this since I am going to be going there anyway late Friday night after I get off, N and I are going to the AA area meeting in a town 90 minutes west on Saturday, N is going to take my old distict position as distict CPC, Cooperation with the Professional Community, and I am still planning on being active in service work even if I don't have a job with Lincoln AA. I enjoy the area meetings and talking to members from around the state that I have come to know via service work. I will spend Sunday with my daughter, granddaughter, N and her kids, so going down there in the middle of the week would have been spending money I don't really have. Knowing things like this is recovery working in my life, before I would just do what I wanted because I wanted to and then figure out how to deal with the cash problem later and probably not in a healthy manner, yes this has been done in recovery, I am slowly learning from my financial mistakes.

Steve at Another Sober Alcoholic wrote a great piece on the Big Book. Last night writing a post on the Big Book was my intension and it still is but from my own prespective of late. Please read Steve's post because I have a feeling it is better than what this is going to be or it comes from a differant view. The air from Naples Florida must be making it's way to Nebraska because last week Prayer Girl and I were both thinking about the promises and yesterday Steve was on the same Big Book vibe that I am on;-D

Alrighty then, I posted about reading "The Keys to the Kingdom" with the clients at the treatment center a couple of weeks ago as part of their recovery literature reading session. Friday night I questioned a couple of clients that are more proactive in their recovery about how much the Big Book is read and how much the first 164 pages are stressed, the reply I received was very little. During the 45 minutes each day that is set aside for clients to work on assignments, if the client doesn't have an assignment from their counselor to work on they read the Big Book or the book Narcotics Anonymous, what I have observes is most clients read a story from the back of these books. I have nothing against the stories, some stories contain some great tools for recovery and insight, who hasn't used the passages on acceptance and resentments, "Doctor Bob's Nightmare" is a must read also but I am enough of a Big Book thumper to feel that new people need to understand the basic text of both books which contain the outline the plan of recovery. When I was in recovery before I believe in the importance of the Big Book, in fact while I was out there those 10 years moving around I never got rid of my old coffee stained BB, it stayed in my library with other books I felt where important, even though I denied my alcoholism. When my sponsor visited my house for the first time, he looked at my shelves of books and said I don't care what you read, you can even read "Mein Kampt" if you want but I want you to read the Big Book on a daily bases, I think the Mein Kampt comment came from him seeing the spine of Che in big letters with a picture of the revolutionary glaring out from the rest of the books. I still follow his words today, not a daily bases but I do read the book fairly regularly. When I lived in the small towns I was use to having a Big Book handy at meetings so I could quote from it, I am unable to memorize words, something in my brain doesn't allow this, even words I have heard or read over and over for 20 years are not within my grasp to quote verbatim, so I have rely on going to the source which isn't a bad thing, I know where passages are at in the book but not the page they are on. In Lincoln meetings the Big Book's aren't just sitting around on tables for referance so I had to buy a new one just to keep in my car for my use at meetings. I do this because although I may state my prespective on this blog and comments to other bloggers on theirs, when I am at a meeting especially with newcomers I feel they need to hear what the Big Book has to say and not what my opinion is, not that I don't share my experience, strength and hope with them but I want to make sure my selfish ego isn't saying something unwise; for instance I may share about my thoughts on selfishness and self centeredness and then follow it but with what the Big Book says if someone else hasn't already done so.

So where the Hell was all that going, oh yeah the clients. Because of what the clients told me I got permission to guide the readings sessions. I told them the importance of the basic text in both the AA and NA books. We read "We Agnostics" and I pointed out the importance of this chapter, some of the passages that where key to me. One of the most important is " To us, the Realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. When therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God,.... So we use our own conception, however limited it was." To me this these passages open up the door for people who have a hard time with the God talk like I did, a couple of clents picked up on this. The clients work a great deal on powerlessness, on denial, on shame and the consquences for their actions while drinking and using but they do very little work understanding how the program works, what the solution is. I suggest that they read the "Doctors Opinion", "More about Alcoholism" "How it Works" and also Steps 1, 2 and 3 in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and share own past to help them with this. My prepective is that if they are going to stay sober they need to understand the Big Book and the 12 and 12, because any meeting, sponsor or individual that has good recovery is going to emphasis the importance of these books, they are going to emphasis the Solution outlined in these books, the importance of the God of our understanding, so they better get use to hearing about them. I don't talk to them like an AA Nazi or a Bleeding Deacon, my teachers have been the Elder Statesmen and those who know how to come across with strong love and compassion, the ones who share about themselve and their recovery, the good the bad and the ugly, because no likes a dictator. We are comrades on this path of recovery, if I feel like you don't understand from your living experience I am not going to listen to what you are trying to assist me with. For me this is the best approach to carrying the message. I have to say it again, what I have to offer is a gift from God, the same is true with anyone else who makes an impact on the life of someone suffer whether they have 1 day or 10,000 days. The old saying goes, "you can't bullshit a bullshiter" so if we referance the Big Book, the book Narcotics Anonymous, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, As Bill Sees It, Came to Believe, Living Sober or any other conferance approved book then we aren't talking bullshit, I make sure that when I share I talk about me and that I am human and make mistakes and what I am saying is my perspective or opinion so that it may be disregarded if it is disagreed with. Working with newcomers the way I do, I feel it is important that they understand what is and isn't the program of recovery.

O.K. I have been on my soapbox long enough, need to jump in the shower and go to the bank so I have some money to buy some needs with, is fancy chocolate ice cream a need;-D Thanks for all who have stuck with me on the ramble.

May the sunlight of the Spirit shine upon you today and every day.
Scott