You Can't always get what you Want

"You can't always get what you want, but if try sometimes, just might find, you get what you need, oh baby." Now I am not a big fan of the Stones but Jagger and Richards hit the nail on the head with this lyric. I do find Keith Richards amusing and his solo stuff is better than anything the Stones have done in decades. Question "what 2 things will survive a nuclear holocaust?" Cock roaches and Keith Richards!

Reason I choose the cartoon is; the truth is what it is. I can rationalize and justify the answers to events in life which make me unhappy all I want but the correct answer is; life is what it is, just like the truth. No sense in milling things over in my mind, trying to figure out answers to what just is. I can travel a 100 miles up hill in my mind, mess up my serenity and inter peace, only to find out I could have saved the trip because the answer is right here, right now; it is what it is, just be.

Why all this heavy thought dearest Wolfie you wonder? Because I didn't get what I wanted, I got what I needed. No job as a safety coordinator, no job managing the farmers co-op, they both found people better qualified for the jobs. I will start working in the manufacturing plant Monday running a press brake, making parts for grain dryers. I think I told you I will be working 4:30pm to 4:00am, 6 days a week. Now here are the poor me dislikes; it will mess up my meetings, now I am back in Kearney I really was planning on going back to some of my regular meetings and doing jail meetings and service work, it will mess up my weekends and probably some camping trips, I will be doing manual labor again instead of having my nice soft office job. Woo is me me, oh woo!! Reality check; after 2 months of being unemployed I finally have a job, I will be getting a weekly paycheck and with the overtime it will be pretty good, I am grateful my mother has a nice chunk if change in her savings and been kind enough to help me along , priority one is to start paying her back. I will actually be making more money than before, I was salary at the other job, putting in 9-10 hour days without any OT, so financially I am better off. Since I am working 2nd shift I will continue to apply for other jobs and have the ability to be available for interviews, thus not having to take time off for an interview. I know enough about the truth to know, nothing is permanent, we never step in the same river twice. If I continue to do the footwork I will be back to working a day shift job down the road. The company is big enough that with my background I can apply for internal clerical jobs which I am qualified for. I worked for the company when I got out of the Air Force, started out as a shear/punch press operator on 2nd shift and worked my way into a purchasing job on day shift after 18 months. I will be able to attend my Sunday morning home group meeting, which is more important than the rest. As for camping trips, well they are still a few months off so there is no since in getting my Y-fronts in a knot just yet, I will camp when I can. I can keep my earring in my ear at work, the other jobs it would have been a no no:-0 God I am so vain!

It has been 17 years since I have done steady manual labor for a living and I need to remember this for one reason. I cannot push myself too hard, the guy who hired me knows this and I am sure his expectations of me aren't nearly has high as my expectations of myself. I can be my worst enemy, I can beat myself up for not meeting my expectations, yeah I have a bit of pride. I have to allow myself to make mistakes, granted need to learn from them as well. I have to accept I will be sore and tired until I get use to the job and the hours, because I know in time I will, been there done that. I did buy a 15 pound dumb bell and have started doing exercises with it, plus I am doing some stretching exercises, oh yeah and moving boxes from the 2nd floor to the parking lots has help out also;-)

I am in North Platte now, I rented a Rug Doctor and cleaned the carpets, wow it did a great job and I am grateful for the inventor. Tomorrow morning after I take the machine back I will load the Explorer up, then finish doing some cleaning. I am borrowing a friends trailer this weekend, a buddy of mine is going to help me load the couch, bed, desk, dresser and misc stuff, with any luck the balk of the stuff will be moved then. I still have stuff in mom's shed but it can wait for a free Sunday. This Sunday I need to see if Mich can bring me down to get my car, my buddy doesn't have a license, he is in recovery need I say more.

Here is a God/Divine/Higher Power/Karma thing for you all. I was at mom's house this afternoon when her mail arrived. She received a letter from the Kearney Housing Authority, saying she needed to schedule an interview for elderly housing, she is on the waiting list for a city/HUD run complex for the elderly. The letter gave a list of things she needed to bring with her. It was a blessing I was there because she wouldn't have understand exactly what documents she needed, as it was I had to call and verify certain documents were what they were asking for or acceptable. Her appointment is Friday at 9:00am, I will be able to go with her to it. She will have to decide if she will be comfortable in the apartment, I am not sure how small they are, if she likes it then she will be moving to Kearney before too long. If she doesn't like it then she will just keep waiting for a Realtor owned complex, bit more money but they are 2 bedroom with apartment sized washer and dryers. Once again it will be as it will be, do the footwork and see, no rhyme intended.

Well campers, I need to do a few more things around the house before I crash, not really tired, so a bit of cleaning should solve that. I hope all of you are well, Lori you are in my prayers dear one!! I pray every night for any of my friends who may be going through tough times so if this is you, you are cared about.

Peace Love and Light