Mich had these pictures of Carter on her Facebook so I downloaded them for you all to see. The one with Mich isn't flattering but it shows how small he is in comparison to Mich's hand.

They are doing alright. Matt is being Matt and I have to accept that, don't have to like or approve of his actions or better yet non-actions but I do have accept him for being who he is, which I can't change with words or 2x4's.

I didn't make it down there this week, I have had to work a couple of over night shifts which throw my day off. I have to work 5 days in a row this week but told Mich I would be down after work Wednesday night. She wants me to bring Angel back home with me which I will. Angel and grandpa need a couple of days together anyway.

Last Sunday on my way back from Kearney the guy that was working first shift called me and asked if I could come in a bit early because he wasn't feeling too well, I said I would. I took enough time when I got home to check my email and unload the car, about 20 minutes. After he left I found out from my other co-worker the guy had brown bottle flu, this really pissed me off. If I would have known it was brown bottle flu sickness I wouldn't have rushed to replace him. The guy was on medical tech duty, so being hungover is placing the clients in a dangerous position, not to mention have an tech at a treatment center for alcoholism and drug addiction come to work hungover sets a really poor example. When I was drinking I didn't miss very much work due to hangovers, I feel this is self inflicted and you just show up and do the best you can until your shift is over, so I have zero sympathy for him. The other co-worker is in recovery and also working on his counseling license. He was also very pissed off too. Mr. Hangover is also the laziest of the techs, on the weekends when there isn't much to do he sits and watches TV, doesn't move around and talk to clients much, isn't motivated to do our normal duties, he either has to be told to do stuff or my peers and I just do them and let him sit around. The hangover and his work ethic's lead him to being fired. I have mixed feelings about this. I want to be compassionate towards those I don't like but I can honestly say I am glad he was fired. His job performance and attitude sucked also I have never really like the kid. He created his own suffering and I guess the compassion from me is in hopes he learns some lessons from the suffering he is going through.

My relationship with Lady B keeps growing. She told me a few weeks ago she really doesn't like to talk on the phone much since she spends a great deal of her work time on the phone but the last few days she has been calling me, just to say hi or see how I am doing. I told her I was mad at Matt but it wasn't a big deal via an email, she called to make sure I was alright and to find out what had happened. She has stuff going on in her life so I don't dump a lot of my stuff on her, figure she doesn't need to listen to my mini drama's but she has a genuine concern for me, Mich, Angel and Carter and wants to know what is going on. Our attraction to each other is building by developing a strong friendship, one based on common interest, not too much though, enjoying talking to each other and lots of laughter. I don't know about anyone else but I have had this idea in my head that the perfect companion should like the same music and books I do but Lady B is pretty much apathetic towards understanding music or literature, it isn't that she isn't a thinker but her interest are different than mine. We like the same types of movies for the most part, although she isn't as excited about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland as I am, she thinks it looks a bit freaky. We have common views on raising children, she has an 8 year old son and is very big on structure. We both have the same views on recovery, with me be a little heavier on service work and activates. She enjoys camping and being outside, told me she isn't a girlie girl when it comes to camping, big A+ for her. She has had money and material things but lost them all and now realizes these things don't matter much that happiness is based on matters of the heart, A+ number 2. I am doing my best to keep my expectations in check but it is really nice to have someone care about me and show the fondness for me that she does. It has been a long time since I have had a special woman in my life. I know my happiness isn't contingent upon having an intimate companion but it is one of my desires, one that I have to stay in constant awareness of so that it doesn't become overwhelming and create self inflicted misery. I will not try and buy her affection like I did with N, it is tempting with my tax refund coming up. Cool thing about Lady B is she that she is very self sufficient and proud of that. In fact she may be able to assist me in controlling my spending, well maybe a sound voice and a gentle swift kick when I need it. As always this is in God's hands, we do the footwork and see what happens for now though I am grateful it is moving in the direction it is.

Well that is enough rambling from me. I worked last night and I am sitting here in my robe and need to get in the shower and get ready for a meeting. I am working the morning shifts this weekend, so I also need to prepare a class for spirituality. It looks like Sunday mornings are going to be mine, so I need to start working on different things for the clients to do for spirituality group, I have my basic stuff but need to broaden my lesson plans.

My prayers go out to all of you who are having a rough time in life right now, I know a few of you are. Remember campers, there is no "self" we are all interdependent on each other, I am you and you are me and we are all together.

Oh Yeah, I forgot this, 47 years ago on Febuary 7th a dark haired future member of AA was born, he became the blogger known as Wolfie185. I am going to take Mich and Angel out to eat for my birthday, Matt will not go because of the Super Bowl, I haven't watched a Super Bowl in over 20 years so I doesn't bother me to miss this one.
Peace Love and Light
Scott