Selfish fear and confusion

I am scared and a bit confused. The fear comes from that old feeling of low self esteem. Here lately I have been assisting quite a few people in recovery and a couple who aren’t. I only sponsor a few of those who have sought me out which is fine, I don’t sponsor people to attain notches on my recovery coin. The AA responsibility statement which reads “I am responsible. . . When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help. I want the hand of AA always to be there. And for that: I am Responsible.” is something ingrained in my recovery psyche, so when someone asks to talk to me, I don’t hesitate, nor do I judge their character good or bad. The fear comes in the selfish question of “why me and do I really have something to offer them, I’m just a drunk who hasn’t had a drink today nor have I had a drink in the past few yesterdays”. I do my best to stay humble, I don’t give out any suggestions I haven’t done myself or I make sure I let people know that I am expressing my opinion/feelings, if I can’t help I give the name of a person who can. I share my experience, strength and hope to the best of my ability which is all that I can do. All this sounds rather uncomplicated in writing but then comes the fear of making sure I stay humble. I have a hard time accepting the gifts I have, not material but intellectual, and by intellectual I don’t mean the brainiac know it all form of intelligence, I mean an intelligent understanding of things spiritual and emotional. Extended suffering comes from not recognizing or changing the selfish nature on the emotion that is causing us pain; how can low self esteem be selfish? In this circumstance the selfish is not accepting who I am, that it isn’t about “me”, it is about what the Ancestors have given me and what I am suppose to pass along to those who feel I have something to offer them. It would be selfish if didn’t help another, if I didn’t write my thoughts out or send messages of support to those I care about, it would be selfish if I thought “no one wants to hear what I have to share” because obviously they do or they wouldn’t ask me or thank me for the feedback, same goes with those who have asked someone else for help and they have been pointed in my direction because the person they asked know I could help them better. When I doubt myself then I doubt the way of the universe, if I go against stream then I struggle and if I struggle I lose serenity. I took a few days off from a daily AA meeting because since it is the 2nd month the topic of discussion tends to turn to the 2nd step “ Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”. I am the odd person out when it comes to Higher Powers, mine is still pretty much about a Divine Creator and less about God in the conventional since. My selfish ego was having a battle about the difference between going to the meeting to share about the step and the Higher Power the way I understand them and going to the meeting to be an outspoken contrast to those who speak strongly about the Judeo-Christian concept of God. After mediating about this for a few days, I came to the awareness that I am responsible for making sure the newcomers and others understand the implications of spirituality from a broader perspective and also as long as I was speaking from the heart, from my experience, strength and hope and not speaking to any individuals then I was acting humbly. I am gradually learning that I can be a teacher and stay humble at the same time it just takes being aware of my motives, when the ME or I pop up I need to stick the pin of humility in to my inflated ego. I am grateful that I can be of service to alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike, that I have been given some gifts that can be used for compassion and maybe the betterment of others. I also have to understand that I am not responsible for how others act or don’t act, I cant’ control others suffering, drinking or using, the choice is theirs just the same as it is mine.