What's that sound??

“Its time to stop children, what’s that sound, everybody look what’s going down” thank you Stephen Stills. No I am not thinking about the changes that hopefully will be taking place in Washington on the 20th of January 2009 when Obama is sworn into office. I’m thinking about feelings/emotions. I often have I not stopped and listen to the sound that was going down, my heart was trying to tell my head something but I wouldn’t listen, listen to the sounds of feelings surfacing. Damn there goes the shattering sound of love, the deafening blast of anger, the whine of loneliness, the scream of fear, hurt sounds like a thud, shame is the sound a baby makes when it sucks its thumb, oh yeah happiness is the gentle summer breeze and serenity is the sweet rustle of a mountain stream. Through a bit of grace most of my feelings are mild lingering’s, anyway the negative ones are, the positives ones are generally with me but I am complacent and don’t hear them nor thank them often enough. Been helping some people who are young in sobriety and feelings and emotions are a tough subject, I remind them it was the same for all of us. Everybody stuffs there emotions to some degree or they substitute emotions, anger replaces fear, belittling people replaces ones own feelings of insecurity and low self esteem. People use all kinds of things to keep them from hearing their feelings, video/computer games, the internet, TV, movies, reading, crafts/hobbies, work, shopping, religion, school, relationships, alcohol, drugs, the list can on and on; in moderation none of these things are bad and some are healthy. Taking time to stop and listen for me has been a work in progress, like finding balance in life/the middle road. I have my good moments and my bad. On a good day I can hear the emotion and offer to set down and have coffee with it, on a bad day I run scared until I stumble, fall and hear her voice in my ear, suffering is my own choice, or as my old friend Ian would say “misery is optional”. So I invite the emotion for coffee, we sit opposite of each other on equal terms neither have power over the other, it is when I can do this that I am restored to serenity. Emotions and feelings have no real power, they can appear all big bad and scary but they are wisp of illusion and perception. I will never be able to stop having emotions but one day at a time, one moment at a time, I can learn to put them in their own perspective. “What’s going down” is life on life’s terms whether I like it or not, yesterday, today and tomorrow