Night of Newerbies

Hi all and hope you had a good new years eve, whether it was hanging out with friends or chilling in your home with a movie, or maybe you just said F it and crashed early.

The potluck was good, lots of yummy food. The Alanon speaker did a good job, her talk was short but interesting and she had some positive things to say. Brian did a good job also, provided some humor and good reflections. I sat with a couple of older guys, one of them talked about the icy storms of the 50's and life on the farm, something I always find interesting.

My friends Jeremy, Wendy and I put the word out we were going to the dance in GI, town 45 miles east. A couple of guys ho hummed about going and we basically said BS you are going. One of the guys was Francis, Francis is the guy who went to Sober Float on his own and ended up floating with us and having a great time, he also came out to one of our camp outs. Francis has about 18 months sobriety, I think he likes to hangout with recovery people but is too shy to ask about tagging along, so we tend to rather grab him when we get the chance and say you are coming. The other guy Scott, has been in and out for years, he admitted he had been isolating lately so once again we rather twisted his arm into coming. A few others went down in their own cars. Like all AA road trips there was good conversation on the way down and back, a lot of it was just about enjoying life sober and clean and some talked about how in the past we were too messed up to do this or that.

When we got to the dance we connected with some more people from Kearney. It was nice for me since my work schedule doesn't allow me to see many people that often. Brett and Jamie were there with their sweet little 4 month old baby boy. Brett camped out with us last summer and Jamie who was close to popping at the time had come out to the camp-out for supper and bonfire meeting. I talked to Brett about Sober Float, he was concerned about having enough money, told him it wouldn't cost much because they could ride with one of us and there was always plenty to eat and for the most part we just brought what we could afford, plus Jeremy and I always bring a bit too much. So hopefully they we be with us for the float this year, they are a really nice couple of young people in recovery, they have that special light in their eyes which tells me they are living recovery.

A young guy from Kearney is in the treatment center in GI, he is getting out Thursday, a few of the guys spent time talking to him, trying to strength the seedling of his recovery, telling him they will get him to meetings.

 The hall was filled with young people from GI, Kearney and a surrounding towns, I would guess that 75% of the people were under 40. This in itself made the trip worth it for me. I had some great belly laughs watching some of the kids dance, especially doing the crotch thrust thing, they were doing it for laughs too, mimicking current artist dance moves, everybody was cracking up. I went outside  a few times for a smoke and to give my head a break from the hip hop dance music but wasn't disapproving of the music it because the people were dancing and having a good time. Yes I would have enjoy the background music more if would have been Skynard, Seger, Metalica, Human League, or anything from the 60's, 70's, 80's or grunge 90's but it wasn't about me. I remember going on deployments and going to clubs, getting drunk and really pissed about the music, bitching the whole time about the lack of good Southern Rock, Progressive Rock or early Metal, it was all about my taste in music and screw the fact this kind of music isn't really danceable. I remember leaving a club in Germany and wondering around, drunk out of my mind, some how the Divine managed to get me back to my friends and to the dorm safely because I was in a totally unfamiliar town and didn't speak the language. Once again sobriety changed my perspective and I choose to enjoy the night instead of focusing on the things I didn't like.

 Jeremy and I are kicking around the idea of having some kind of social event in late March or April, kind of a beat the winter blues thing. Our idea is rent some rooms at a local motel out of our pockets, maybe one with pool side rooms, have hospitality rooms were people could mingle, plus they could enjoy the pool and hot tube. We thought it we did it this year out of pocket and the results were positive then maybe next year some of the local groups would spring for rooms and we could turn it into a district event. We have a district meeting next Saturday and I am going to bring the idea up to the group representatives and district chair people to see what they think. We have a lot of events in the summer, both AA and NA but nothing in the spring when people really start to get cabin fever. I ran my idea by a service buddy from GI last night and he told me to keep him posted and he would try to drum up support for us if we got something going.

Everyone had a good time at the dance, visited with people, catching up with some and building new bonds with others. I met one guy I was in treatment with, he has stayed sober the whole time too, we were really glad to see each other and a bit sad others weren't there. Ran into a guy I know from out patient treatment, I was aware he had gone back out, he said he had receive his 3rd DUI and was back in and wanted to stay sober this time. He took my phone number, so maybe he will give me a call sometime, the willingness is up to him.

One guy from Kearney, Kelly celebrated 1 year clean and sober at midnight. I joke with him about a new years resolution that stuck. He said no it wasn't a resolution, it just happened to be the day he ran out of dope, with no way to get more and was totally beaten up. He said he called the hot line and a couple of guys took him to treatment. I had seen Kelly a couple of times before, we hit it off last night pretty well, hopefully I will see him some more and build a friendship, he was another one who was shy about going last night. I am friends with the guy who took him, so when things come up I will remind him to make sure Kelly knows about stuff so he can be a part of.

I take recovery damn serious, I am a bit of a Nazi when it comes to steps and traditions, I use the Big Book and 12 and 12 with newcomers, try and shy them aware from other books which can only be a bunch of mental masturbation if they haven't gotten the basics of recovery started in their brains. But I am also a firm believer in making recovery fun, "we are not a glum lot". People need to learn how to have fun in recovery, learn how to socialize with others on the same path, develop healthy relationship which make breaking unhealthy relationships easier, this is what I was taught early on and it help keep me coming back. I believe we can balance the seriousness of working the 12 steps with having social events. Jeremy, Wendy and my other friends enjoy living sober, we try and show others there is a life after drugs and alcohol, one which is both fun and dead serious, one where we may be laughing our asses off one minute and have tears in our eyes the next.

 I am grateful I have the friends I do, we are pretty damn open with each other, we are open about our recovery and about our spiritual paths. Not all of us share the same spiritual path but we have complete respect for each others paths, so the Catholics, Methodist, Buddhist and Agnostics mix really well in loving kindness for each other. Some of us shot dope, some smoked tons of weed,some did all of it and some like me were just garden variety drunks who would do other things just to get messed up but always came back to the bottle. No matter what our differences are, we have a common bond and that bond is staying clean and sober one day at a time, sharing freely of what we have been given, doing what we can to live in the solution and not the problem. We understand where our heads can go if we don't stay in contact with other travelers on the path, we understand the importance of meetings and of fellowship.

We who are in recovery have a great edge over those who aren't because in my experience you don't find this kind of honest and loving friendship in other places, well maybe some churches or temples, but not often in the work place or with neighbors, I never found it in any political organization I belong to and I was looking hard for this type of belonging. I have been removed of the fantasy of having a beer like non-alcoholics, normal is a cycle on the washing machine, because I can't fathom for the life of me just 1 freaking beer, so I no longer get mad about having an incurable disease. This incurable disease has brought into contact with some of the best people in the world, has fulfilled my need to find a place where I belong.

Well that's about it for today, I have black eyed peas and leftover ham in the crock pot. Mich isn't working so I don't have the kids today, so papa is going to chill, watch some movies and later take down the Christmas tree and decorations.

Peace Love Light
Scott