Cabin Fever, this and that

It is that time of the year when I have had enough of winter and my mind turns to spring and summer. I am not projecting a great deal but making plans and doing a bit of footwork for a few things for this spring/summer.

Sorry to say but after close evaluation of my finances, I won't be able to afford the International Convention in San Antonio. I don't make enough money to be able to save any back for the trip even with people going along to split the cost. My tax refund is going to be used for some needs and if there is money left some basic wants. I need new glasses and since I wear feather weight line less bifocals they don't come cheap, need a new lawn mower, need to get my car repaired from the accident plus transmission fluid and filter changed, Mich needs a microwave and also a bed for Angel and maybe a crib for Carter. My wants are a pop up camper, plus I have get some more camping gear, not much but it all adds up. The camper is a want after everything else is bought plus I am selling my old truck to help pay for it. The way it looks I won't be getting hired on full time anytime soon at the treatment center, I am getting a regular 4 days of work a week which is what all the dependable and knowledgeable techs are getting. Maybe next year things will look better and there will be an event that I can meet up with some of you wonderful blogger peeps.

So thinking about the reality of not being able to go to San Antonio got me thinking about what I could do for the 4th of July weekend. There is a state park between Omaha and Lincoln, it sits on the banks of the Platte river. The park does not have camping because the terrain is too hilly and rough but they have 6 person cabins for rent, ones with AC are $60.00 and non-AC $50.00, cabins have frig, fire ring and picnic table, you have to use a community latrine and shower but they are well taken care of so this isn't a big deal. I contacted a couple of my fellow campers and they are up for it, so we will reserve 2 cabins for the weekend. The park also has a swimming pool, guided horseback riding and a lake with paddle boats. Another nice thing about the location is, we can take a day trip into Omaha and visit the zoo. For a small Midwest city the Omaha zoo is awesome. Lincoln has some great fireworks displays and I am sure my recovery friends here will be having stuff going on that we can be a part of. So even though I won't be able to spend the weekend with all you wonderful people, I will be having a great weekend in recovery.

Memorial Day weekend has all ready been booked. We are going back to the Native American center again. This is where the Happy Camper came into existence. For those that don't know, the center is located in a quiet canyon, they have 2 nice cabins we rent out and plenty of room for tents. There is a beautiful fire ring with split log benches around the ring. There is a small lake for canoeing and 5 miles away is a lake for fishing. There are also plenty of hiking trails. Part of the attraction is the guided tour of an early earthen log replica and medicine circle, the people that own the center, have different artifacts and bones from prehistoric animals that once lived in Nebraska, strangely enough Nebraska was once a tropical jungle. The place is very peaceful and last year we were the only people there for the whole weekend.

What we do on our camping trips is hangout and have great recovery fellowship. Another guy and myself do all the cooking, so the mom's get a break and both of us are good cooks I might add, cost of food is shared. We have AA and NA meetings at different times of the day, ending with a bonfire meeting. Lots of Smores are made plus good hot dogs roasted over an open fire. For myself and a couple of others it is a time for quiet mediation in nature. Not everyone is on the same spiritual page but everyone has a spiritual experience, if by no other means than spending a weekend in nature with fellow travelers in recovery.

I am not sure how many of the Happy Campers from last year will be part of the campouts for this year. Right now there are 7 of us but I am sure we will pick up more as it gets closer to the actually events. Lady B and her 8 year old son want to be a part of it but it is early in our relationship, so time and God will tell on this one. N has distanced herself from me and the other campers, so I don't know if her kids and her will be a part either, she has taken a different path in her recovery and life, this happens and is cool as long as she is happy, even if she isn't it is not in my hands but God's. We have had a few people relapse and stay out in their disease and a couple others take different paths, once again they are in God's capable hands. Those of us who do get together will have a great time, we connect on spiritual and recovery levels. The weekends are very honest, we open ourselves up, we share with each other, we accept the words of others because their words come from the heart and are spoken with love. We don't beat recovery into any ones head, we just try and set an example by our actions, in doing this a couple of newcomers last year where able to blossom over the summer, see what it is like to live in recovery and not just work the program of recovery. We are not perfect, we are a bunch of ex drunks and druggies trying to live life on life's terms using spiritual principles as a guide. Christian, Buddhist, generic Spiritualist all embrace in love for one another.

Side notes; Carter is breathing on his own. Mich was able to hold him for the first time yesterday. Mich and Matt have stopped fighting, mainly because Mich gave in and had Angel go back to Kearney and stay at Matt's parents. Angel is alright. I have my concerns about her but know that a few weeks living at Matt's parents won't hurt her, it is more about my ego knowing what is best for her than anything else. She is my baby so I can't help but be concerned about her though. My friendship with Lady B is growing stronger, we have been talking off and on quite a bit, she was very supportive and caring towards me when C died. Next Saturday I have a wedding reception for my nephew and she is going with me, this will be our first date. You know I will let you know how it goes. The reception is going to be a beer bust so I am glad she is going with if for no other reason than to have another person in recovery along. I am not worrying about drinking but I will have a better time with someone I can connect with there to talk with and also a dance partner.

We had a former client get busted for assault, he beat up a guy in an alley for a 24oz can of beer, The former client had only been out of treatment for 3 weeks. Once again a remember that the disease is just waiting for us to rest on our spiritual laurels, stop going to meetings, not work the steps and never call our sponsors.

The photo is from last years first campout, I am in the mix but you have to figure out where.

Hope everyone is doing well. I pray for those of you who are going through some rough times in life.

Namaste, Peace Love and Light
Scott