This, that and the other

Hi all and hope every one is doing well and enjoying the beautiful Indian summer.

So I don't go to see a doctor unless things are really bad, last time was probably 4 years ago. Last week I couldn't cowboy up anymore and went to see a doc for stomach trouble, after 3 weeks worth of problems. What finally got my butt to the doc was 4 days of diarrhea and stomach cramps. My blood and urine test all came back good, so doc gave me a prescription for 20mg of Pilosec, this was Thursday, by then I was worn down enough I couldn't stand at my machine for 10 hours so went home from work sick. By last night my stomach cramps and diarrhea had become so severe I was ready to take a trip to the ER. I looked up the side effects of Pilosec and sure enough, diarrhea, cramping and nausea were part of them. When back to doc this morning, he took me off Prilosec and gave me a med for cramping and diarrhea, plus a note to get me off work tonight so my body can hopefully heal some and get my energy back. Scary thing is I have lost 4 pounds in 4 days, not sure how much prior to that. I am a fairly skinny person and can't afford to lose weight. I know I will back to normal shortly, I don't do sick very well and I hate missing work for illness. I still have this preconceived notion about how bad it is to be sick and I cowboy up when I really need to practice self care.

The doctor visit was good for 2 reasons; 1 I was afraid I had major stomach problems, pancreas, ulcer, colon or something along those lines, at 48 years old this stuff does creep into my head. I didn't panic or get too overly worried about what might be the cause of problems, the thoughts went through my head and then moved on without dwelling on worst case scenarios, which is a benefit of learning how to live in the moment. The 2Nd thing is my blood pressure is normal, this came as a surprise. I had been diagnosed with high blood pressure a few years ago but refused medication because my blood pressure wasn't sky high and also for me I do not want to start taking medication on a regular bases quite yet, someone told me once you are on blood pressure meds, you can't get off because your body is too use to them regulating your pressure. I am a pack a day smoker, plus at least a pot of coffee a day, I salt my food because taste buds are shot from years of smoking, so figured I would have high blood pressure.

I think mindfulness practices and mediation have paid off with my normal blood pressure. Both have allowed me to stay calm even under stressful circumstances. Practicing mindfulness and mediation has been something I have done to try and keep grounded, maintain inter-peace and serenity. I never thought another benefit would be my blood pressure. I am grateful and a bit awed by this benefit. Once again living in recovery has proven to be a blessing.

We finally sold my mom's house last week. It had been sitting vacant since April. This is a huge stress release for my mom, it was costing her money. It was also a relief for me. We took a loss but it is alright, it is better to take the loss than have it sit empty through the winter and have the expenses continue. I had to channel my dad's spirit to make sure I was doing the right thing by selling it at loss, I thought about different decisions he has made over the years and felt comfortable in knowing he would have done the same thing.

October 12th I am taking my mom out to western Idaho to see her oldest sister. My aunt is 86 years old and my mom is 82. Right now at work we are slowing down and will probably be slow until the first of the year, so it is the perfect time to go. Driving through Wyoming from November through March can be tough, it is extremely wide open and you can get caught in a blizzard really easily. Also to get to western Idaho you have to cross the mountains, once again this isn't to be done when there are chances of winter storms, so weather wise now is the time to go. Mom has been to Idaho a few times in the last few years but always with my other aunts, I have one aunt who constantly talks and controls conversations. It has been a while since mom has had a chance just to visit with my aunt one on one, so I thought I would take her out. My aunt is my favorite aunt, I lived in Idaho and Washington state as a young kid, my aunt was like a second mother to me, she holds a special place in my heart and I in hers, this may very well be the last time I get to see her alive, her health is iffy and so is my mom's.

We are taking Angel along to Idaho, I almost backed out of doing so but my mom wants to try and bond more with her. Also my aunt has never meet Michelle and Angel is a mini Michelle. Angel is at that age where she is fun to be around so my aunt will get a kick out of her. I have a portable DVD player for movies, crayon's and color books for the ride.

All which I have written is a benefit of sober living. Five years ago I didn't have a drivers license, so couldn't have taken mom on a vacation, I also couldn't have handle trying to control my drinking around her. I wouldn't have been trusted to handle mom's business affairs, in fact I shied away from my parents out of shame for the amount I was drinking. Any medications I was put on got messed up because they counteracted with the alcohol, I am not happy about having to lay off my beloved coffee but know it is what I have to do for a few days and I more concerned about my heath than my coffee, whereas I didn't give up beer for anything. My days of brown bottle flu are over, so I can talk to my boss about loss of work without him thinking it is alcohol related. Recovery and a spiritual life have amazing benefits, I hope my gratitude for these benefits never stop.

Peace Love and Light

Scott

P.s. I have nothing against others taking medication on a daily bases, some people need meds to live. Other than my natural supplements and the occasional pain reliever I just prefer to stay away from them as long as I can.