Mellowed out

This is our campfire from Saturday night. We had 18 people at the potluck and meeting. Nine people camped out. The meeting and fellowship were awesome. The Higher Power has a special effect on people when a meeting is held in the great open cathedral . The sharing tends to come more from the heart; this could be a result of being darker and people being less afraid of others looking too close at them, the special bond with our God's which comes with being in nature, knowing this is a smaller group who are all gathered together for the same purpose, probably a combination of all. We had a woman and her companion show up who just moved to the area and only knew 2 people at the camp out, I love it when someone steps outside their comfort zone for the sake of staying sober, both stated the meeting and fellowship is what they really needed and left with more serenity then they came with. The guy who went to SoberFloat on his own came out as well, another example of being willing to do everything needed to stay sober, live in recovery and establish and new circle of friends.

I really love how the Divine works for 12 step programs. With our busy schedules, odd work hours and days off, it didn't look like we would have another camp out this summer. A few weeks ago the other instigator of the Happy Campers got with me about having a camp out for this weekend and having it 10 miles south of town at a state park. I was able to get the Saturday off, the rest of production had to work, others were also able to get time off or didn't have anything planned. We found a perfect spot for our tents, big enough area around fire pit for circle of chairs, nice shade and bathroom/outhouse close by. I had to work Friday night, so didn't come out until Saturday afternoon. Nine people were at the meeting Friday night, one of the newer members shared his story, this was good for him and others.

I took Angel, my 3 year old granddaughter, with me. I thought there would be other kids which there wasn't but that was alright, we were able to spend some quality time together. I brought some toys along, the over sized bat and waffle ball went over really well, she had fun trying to hit the ball and papa praising her each time she did. She played in the sand by the lake and in general kept herself amused. She never let papa too far out of her sight and was pretty clingy but that was alright. I was afraid she wouldn't go potty in the outhouse; she had a bad experience with a porta potty, she wouldn't go in it and had an accident which really made her upset. She did say it was yucky but as long as papa held her she was alright, she got to the point where she would sit on it by herself. Another example of the Higher Power or maybe Karma working. Having Angel with me didn't allow me to assist in the cooking the way I usually do but others took over without a problem.

In recovery kids for the most part are a welcome part of our lives and events. They are not a burden or hindrance. We understand they are a gift to be cherished, we have a responsibility to make them part of our lives, spend quality time with them when we can. I have noticed, with my circle of friends anyway, kids are welcomed and we all accept them and interact with them, ours and those of others. My friends interact with Angel and Carter and I interact with their kids. The selfishness of active addiction caused us to neglect our kids, they were a burden to our drinking and using. We had to stop momentarily to assist them or communicate with them when all we wanted to do was continue getting messed up. The selfishness of our addiction blocked out the joy of their presence, the understanding of their need for us and our responsibility to them. Today I understand how wonderful the kids are, how important they are to my recovery, even when they are keeping me from doing what I want, they are a lesson in getting out of self.

Work was better this week. Part of it was my attitude and level of acceptance. Part of it was communicating more with my lead man, filling him in on what I was doing, how much time I thought it would take me to do a certain task, this he was able to relay to the supervisor. I was respectful to the guy on 3rd shift and engaged in friendly conversation at times. I still kept to my machine and worked by myself. This proved valuable Thursday night because the 3rd shift crew changed some measurements, measurements which were determined by the lead operator, in doing so they messed up 69 parts. It was not a pretty picture in our area Friday, even with the supervisor not being there. My trainer, myself and the lead man were frustrated and confused as to why they would change the measurements on a critical part after the person with the most amount of knowledge set up the machine to make the parts within specification. I honestly felt sorry for the 3rd shift guys, their arrogance now will have them in front of a board composed of production managers and quality control to explain their actions. My trainer and I both explained the importance of the measurements to the guys when they came on shift, it is sad to know someone has such a big ego they are unwilling to follow directions. Reminds me of active alcoholics and addicts, even when we get into recovery we still like to fly solo until we understand our way doesn't work out and heed the advise of others.

I had a job interview Thursday and a farm retail store. They were looking for a receiving/inventory clerk plus an assistant manager. When I dropped off my resume Tuesday, I told the manager I was interested in the assistant manager position but from my experience most companies aren't interested in me because I don't have a long history of retail. She told me she didn't necessarily look at it that way. The interview lasted 1-1/2 hours. In the end she told me I was very qualified for the receiving/inventory clerk position and bring a lot to the plate due to my background in purchasing and inventory control, she also implied she was interested in having me do another interview with her district manager for the assistant manager position. I told her I was interested in the assistant managers position because it allows for more career opportunities. Friday I have an interview with the district manager for the assistant manager position. At the end of the interview I told her how working second shift was a problem for my recovery, in that I only make 1 or 2 meetings a week and they are for me and I am not able to give something back to the fellowship, via service work or working with others. She told me she has attended Al-anon meetings in the past and understands where I am coming from, HP in work again??

The store has 12 employees, so they are closer knit than a big retail store. Their primary customers are farmers, they sell; fencing, fencing supplies, corral panels/gates, sprayers, small farm implements, repair items for small farm equipment, livestock feed, livestock and pet supplies, tools, gardening supplies, mower, tillers, clothing which is mostly western fashion, same goes for footwear, they have toys like; tractors, farm play sets, farm animals, lots of John Deere stuff. They cater to simple people, I feel I can relate to and assist these people easily. I know if I get this job there will be headaches and stress. I will have to work weekends too. But I will have most evenings off. I needed the job in manufacturing to put my pride in check and my wants. With having limited time off, I have learned to make the most of it. The kids are little so I don't have school and other events interfering with spending time with them. I can ask for a weekend off on occasion if I ask far enough in advance. I will tell them about my planned trip to Idaho and the reason for it and hope they understand and allow me to go. The pay would be a bit higher in one way, I would be loosing out on the overtime pay, so a bit of crunching and budgeting will be needed, actually it is more about spending discipline because I tend to buy wants with OT money. Anyway I will just have to see how the interview goes. If I don't get the assistant managers job maybe she will offer the receiving job to me.

Well I need to mow and trim the yard, finish cleaning the house after Angel's visit.

Hope all of you are doing well. Kristin, I knew about the recipe but haven't had a chance to try it yet, thanks for reminding me and maybe next time I will, we may be camping again in September.

Peace Love and Light

Scott