Showing posts with label interconnections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interconnections. Show all posts

Monday, May 2, 2011

Not Celebrating

‎"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." ~ Martin Luther King Jr


I for one am not celebrating in the death of Bin Laden. I am not really sure I am glad he is dead, not glad about the way he died. Yes he was a murderous evil man and caused the deaths of thousand, non-Muslims and Muslims, he was the one who is responsible for the horror of 9/11, a tragic day burned into my memory. I have a spiritual belief which deep down inside says killing is wrong even the killing of ones enemies.

Are we justified in our blood lust dance? Does our blood lust differ from his and his followers? Do we have the right to think we are superior or our cause is superior? I personally don't think so. For one thing all living organisms are intertwined, we all require the same air, water and earth for survival. I am the same as you, as the flower, the fish, the bird etc. For another, who I am I to play God or Divine what ever? Do I have the right to say and know who has the right to live and the right to die. There are people in the world who would say I should die or be imprisoned for my beliefs, hell there are people in this country who would imprison or censor me for my beliefs. I can't justify the being happy about the killing of another just because I perceive them to be spiritually or socially inferior to myself or my country.

Bin Laden's death will not stop the killings, it will not end the war on terrorist. No many more innocent people will die. Many more American service men and women will die. As a veteran, who served 20 years, my heart goes out to my brothers and sisters in arms. I never wanted to see them experience the horrors of war to begin with and still want them safe at home ASAP. Some how some way, the world needs to address the underlying cause for all the hatred, hatred which has lead to the senseless killings. The world has been at war since the dawn of time, war is the one thing our heightened intelligence has failed to eradicate.

As I have grown in my spiritual practices, I am more aware of how my own ignorance and prejudices shaped the big ME of self. Bit by bit I chisel away at the views which keep me from showing true compassion and loving kindness. I do my best not to sit in judgement of others, I am not God. I am a simple being among other beings, other living organisms. People laugh at me because I don't kill insects for no reason, granted the mosquito sucking my blood is a goner and an over abundance of flies in the house fall to a swatter but I do my best to leave them alone, we have repellents for such pest. I have a fondness for spiders because they are natures own controllers of obnoxious pest. When I look deeply at the interdependence of all living things, I try and see how we can coexist with each other. When I pull a weed from my garden, the weed decomposes and returns as food for the grass where I throw it. What I am fumbling to say is; I am learning to cherish all life. Yes I still eat meat so I have not given up my selfishness on this, nor have I stopped smoking another act of selfishness.

From the recovery side of justifying the celebration of the death of an enemy I reflect on what the Big Book says about resentments. " It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison."

I can't pick and choose who deserves my anger and who doesn't. A resentment is a resentment, whether it is against a murder, my sister or my neighbor. If my spirit is darkened by resentments then I am blocking out the sunlight of the spirit, sunlight which can be used to benefit others. Could my anger at a world figure cause me not to smile at the sad cashier or the person I encounter who is having a rough day and really could use a friend smile and greeting from a stranger? I believe it can. If my eyes are the window to my soul, shouldn't I do my best to make my soul shine from them, to use spiritual tools to wipe away the grime and smugs of anger and resentment.

I am saddened by all the hoopla and celebration of Bin Laden's death. I read post on Facebook by friends in recovery and people who regularly post pro-religious messages and wonder what part of the message of spiritual living are they missing. I know this is judgmental of me. I am saddened by most of the news articles also. A few of the 9/11 families have written post saying they are not happy about the hoopla either, that an eye for an eye will not bring back their loved ones and are sadden the death of their loved ones has brought only more death and destruction. I am saddened by the message we are sending out to our youth. How can we create a future of peace with more violence? We can't teach love and hatred at the same time, it has to be one or the other. What would Jesus, Buddha, Saint Francis think about all of this? I think I know what Gandhi and John Lennon would be saying, Dr. King is quoted above so there is no speculation about him.

I wish I had some answers for the troubles of the world but I don't. I am not perfect either. I do what I can to humbly voice my simple opinion on issues which trouble my heart and I don't expect agreement. This celebration will pass, like everything else it is impermanent. We will all find another issue to obsess about soon, maybe Lindsey Lohan, Donald Trump or Charlie Sheen will do some more stupid shit to divert our attention away from the reality of world suffering.

Thanks for allowing me to express myself. I wrote this because writing this stuff out brings me a bit more peace.

My prayers to out to all who are suffering tonight. To a special blogger friend who has found it necessary to end her blog, she will be missed but knows she is loved my many.

Namaste
Scott

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Eyes in the Gravel

Stepping outside to take a breathe and clear the mind from the negative energy flowing through the office I glance down at the gravel that is the foundation of the road and parking lot for my workplace. Looking up at me where hundreds of shining eyes, not thick but every few inches another eye shined. The flecks of rocks that make up the gravel where reflecting the brilliant sun that was shining down, bits of rock no bigger than a pin head, vibrant with light. Wow another blessing of learning to be still and see with open eyes!! How many times have I stepped out back to smoke or breathe, yeah I know smoking and healthy breathing don’t go together but hopefully this is my last year of smoking which is a whole different blog post (suffering and addiction to cigarettes), I know I have noticed the reflections before but never gave them a second thought until yesterday when the beauty struck me. With calm mind I moved around, noticed how the tiny eyes and focused on interdependence, how the rocks and I are one and the same and they are a part of me and I am a part of them. Awareness still blows me away and I am just barely touching the wonders of being aware. I don’t strive for awareness nor to a crave it, in the morning I mediate on being open and removed from bondage of self and this helps opens the channel if I allow it to. Yes I do need to push myself on the awareness of those defects of character that are getting in my way. The biggest one I am aware of is ego/self centeredness, sometimes when I am sitting in a meeting listening to a speaker I wish they would just hurry up because I either want my turn or I want to move on to something I find more interesting or just be done with the meeting to I can go about my business, when this occurs I have to force myself to focus on the moment at hand and what is being said instead of my wants. There are other feelings/actions that I am becoming more strongly aware of and do the best that I can to improve them and make a baby step towards the middle path. Every moment is a chance to live in the moment if I open my eyes, seeing the beauty of nature, hearing the sound of a bird’s wings flapping in flight, smelling vegetation growing these are easy but seeing myself is a bit harder, breaking down the individual to become a complete part of the “we universe”. The literature of recovery and Buddhism both stress being patient and practicing to the best of our abilities on a daily bases and I am grateful, it is better for me to work on small pieces of things that need to be done than to look at the big list which will in turn become overwhelming. When I am overwhelmed with something I stopping doing anything at all, part is perfectionism, if I can’t do it perfectly then I won’t do it at all, the other part is pure laziness, seeing there is a ton of work to be done instead of seeing the ounce of work I can do today. I have been talking to a lot of people in recovery about perceptions lately and it has done me a lot of good because the more we talk about them the more I understand my own perceptions and ignorance’s.

Lighter side: my daughter and granddaughter have moved in with me on a temporary bases, could be a couple of months, long enough for her to get a job and a bit of financial stability. I don’t believe that once the cubs have left the den they aren’t allow back in, my parents have helped me out most of my life for good or bad in some cases, I feel my way of paying them back is by helping my daughter and granddaughter. I have set down some rules and also I will not enable her, she has to take action, I will not become a permanent babysitter either. My daughter is really good about keeping the house clean so that is a bit of repayment. The young lady who was staying at my house and turned around and stole from me has disappeared from the recovery community and so has her boyfriend for the most part, sucks to see but hopefully something will happen that will being them back, but like all of us sometimes it takes having life kick the shit out of you before you are willing to change. Starting to itch for spring and day I can put my shoes in the closet for a few months and only wear sandal or flip flops. Visited a place where we are going to camp for a couple of days over Memorial Day weekend, beautiful canyon with lots of trails, it is not a place that gets a lot of people so it is fairly private, there is an awesome fire pit where we can have bonfire meetings, burn some hot dogs and marshmallows, basically just have a very spiritual recovery weekend.

Well that’s the ramble for now.
Namaste
Scott