God gives me a Purpose in Life

O.K first off, the reason I would just as soon not have 4 days off in a row is unlike all of you out there with normal jobs, I generally only work 3 or 4 days a week so I do have plenty of time off. God willing I will get hired on full time in January when my probation period is up. I have worked 5 to 6 days a week my whole working life so having too much time off is a change and I know I should be greatful and I am because I have a job that I love and I am surviving on the pay decrease I took when I changed careers. I am just not use to keeping myself busy 4 days in a row without blowing money, so God is teaching me how to be frugal with my limited income. I cleaned house today, started reading an new book then went to a meeting per normal. I did get a call this afternoon from my boss asking me if I wanted to work tomorrow 7am to 3pm and of course I said yes, so my Y front twisting was over nothing. The boss told my I was approved to drive the treatment center van and shuttle clients around which surprised the crap out of me. It has only been 3 years since my last DUI and I still have this condition with the DMV for the state of Nebraska that I have to show monthly proof of insurance, oh yah not only was I busted twice for driving under the influence both times I also didn't have insurance; and still the disease was telling me my life wasn't unmanagable. I assumed that I would have to wait until it had been 5 years since the last offense before they would allow me to drive a company vehicle, not that I am complaining mind you, it gives me another up at work, add another one to the graditude list.

The title for this post comes from a girl at tonights meeting. I sat in with the beginners group, this is a meeting that breaks out into 4 different topic groups. Tonight we read passages from We Agnostics. The discussion was on finding a Higher Power or God, what our background with God was and what it is like today, anyway that is what most of the people talked about. The girl next to me stated, that having God in her life gave her a purpose. She said the purpose was to serve others, to be a better human being, to be kind, considerate and loving. I thought this was brilliant. I often share about being a servant for my God but have never put it into simple terms like it is through God that I have a purpose in life even though this is so true. As a drunk even when I was trying to be of service I sucked because I was caught up in self and very unreliable, what purpose in life I had was half ass to say the least. Today I have a purpose, to be the best me that I can be, to carry the message of recovery and spirituality, to be a good citizen, father, son, grandpa, friend, sibling, custodian of high values and ethics and much more. Anyway I thought that was cool and so I wanted to pass it on.

Saturday I am doing Big Book study group with the clients. This week I am going to have us read More About Alcoholism. There are a couple of things on the first page of the chapter I want to go over with them and have them think about and give feedback on if they are willing to. The first is, " The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker", non alcoholic don't worry about controling their drinking because there isn't a control issue with them, they can stop when they have want to for what ever reasons, plus this obsession is the reason people relapse, they think they can control it this time, also normal drinkers don't obsess over alcohol for any reasons. I want to pick their brains on the difference between an abnormal drinker and a normal drinker. The second thing is the phase "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization" I love the rawness of this phase. I will ask the clients to reflect back on the things they did which they felt where unethical or immoral. I know for me it is important to understand just how unethical and immoral I can behave under the influence of alcohol, one of those things I am not proud about and never want to go back doing again, I will share some of this with them in a general way.

Well I better get my butt to bed, say my prayers, a couple of you are in them and hopefully crash without too much trouble.

Peace Love and Light
Scott